The Economy is in shambles
There is a total lack of leadership
Hope is at a minimum
The people feel out of control and without a sense of optimism for the future, they lash out at anyone who is different from them.

Conditions that existed in 1930s tht gave rise to hitler and an extremely xenophobic Nazi Germany, and a Modern day Greece.

(Do you think Malaysia is going on a downward spiral too?)

societies like individuals need to know where they are going. We all need to feel like the work we are doing is advancing some cause or purpose.

To feel the lives we lead and the jobs we toil have meaning and value beyond the daily act of breathing or the monthly routine of paying bills.

Great societies, like great companies, have a bold sense of the future and they employ the population to help build it.

When that bold sense of future is absent, however, we become obsessed not with building our future, but with attacking those, we believe, would prevent us from doing so. Instead of taking responsibility for own our state, we blame others for the state we are in.

(Sounds so much like Political Party we know?)

Worse Still, there are opportunists who would capitalize on the rallying crowds to consolidate their own power.

They feed the frenzy, they stir the paranoia not because its the right thing to do, but because it helps them get elected or gives them a leadership position they have not earned.

This is what happened in Nazi Germany. This is what happened countless times in many Arab dictatorships and this is what's happening in Greece.

(Is this happening to us?)

Article by Simon Sinek
(My opinions in Parentheses )

It was one night shift I didn’t expect.

Prior, everything went on as usual. Returning home after the afternoon shift, I had a quick Linner (Lunch+dinner) then went to ‘collapse’, as my wife would call it.

It would be 9.30pm when I peeled my eyelids open, a few hours of tossy-turny restless sleep, the only kind my biological clock would allow. Its internal rhythms gone haywire from the odd and erratic working hours of a casualty house officer .

Punching it at 9.55pm, I soon took charge of Yellow/Asthma bay, and received passovers from the previous shift.

Around 1030pm, the Triage Officer came through the Yellow Zone doors holding the phone, a puzzled expression on her face

I was Ke-pohing in the red zone at the time, and overheard the case.

“Dr Fateha, ada kes panggilan dari Fook-Lu-Siew Minta Confirm Death.”

I glanced at my Medical Officer, she, at me; both amused by the request, one none of us had heard before. Fook Lu Siew is a Funeral parlour, dealing with the recently departed of Taoist and Christian Faith. It has been a most unusual request. Only those certified dead are brought there for embalming and last rites.

“Yong, you nak Pergi? ”

I nodded in affirmation, my adventurous spirit kicking back in. This came right after a Helicopter Medical Evac from Kota Marudu a week before;

This time, I think I’m ready to bust some zombie-myth.

As the Ambulance rounded the bend at the Tuaran Road-Bulatan Nanas Flyover
I pondered the possible scenarios

what made them feel the patient came back ?

- I asked my Medical Attendants
“Pukul Berapa patient meninggal?”

“I ada Tanya tadi, bilangnye-6.30pm”

“Sekarang pukul sebelas sudah. 4 jam lebih. Mana Mungkin?”

Were they so distraught they couldn’t let the patient go they started having visions?

“Dari Mana patient tu L/O? (Last Office)”

“Palliative Ward”

Now. Palliative ward. Palliation = Comfort/ End of Life Care. This means the patient’s family should have been prepared mentally for the eventual departure.

There must be signs of life convincing enough to shake them to call the hospital.

I had to consider the possibility of misdiagnosis of death then.

“Siapa MO yang certify death kamu tahu tak?”

“Doktor XXXX”

“Tapi, dia baru transfer dari Neurosurgery lah, Mereka tu hari hari certify brain death, tidak mungkin dia boleh miss diagnosis”

“……………….”

The ambulance doors opened.
I wasn’t all that ready to have 20 pairs of eyes looking at me immediately after.
Some held grief, some held frustration, the ones that I avert eyes from were the ones that held, hope. I was afraid I might dash them.

The leader of the pack approached. His eyes held hope. But I had to make it clear.

“Encik, saya faham bahawa kamu orang rasa bahawa dia telah hidup balik. Kalau itu benar, saya rasa keadaan sedia-adanya kurang bagus sebab dia telahpun berada di palliative ward. Kalau betul dia ada peluang, kamu mahu saya tekan dada untuk hidupkan dia balik?”

Looking left and right at his family, he nodded. “Ya Tuan Doktor. Kita mahu dia kembali”

This meant they had expectations of her springing back to life.

This is going to be a difficult counseling session.

As thoughts raced through my head, I was brought into a middle sized room, housing a wardrobe, a bathing tabletop for cleansing the body, and a wide rear area housing other ceremonial items.

I placed myself at the Right corner of the table.
There she was, a young lady maybe mid twenties… maybe that’s why they couldn’t let her go..
Her peripheries were blue, her eyelids tightly shut, no apparent rhythmic rise and fall of the chest.

Most likely a goner, I thought, as relatives streamed into the room, closing the door behind them

My Assistant prepared the AED (automatic External Defibrillator) machine for heart rhythm analysis, while I whipped out the pen torch and the stets.

No Pupil reflex.

Negative Doll’s Eye reflex.

No …Breath sounds.

I could sense that their gaze are all upon me, my breath grew quicker
 

No heart sounds.

The AED machine was very silent. No beeps. It showed a very flat X-axis line.

“Dia tidak menunjukkan sebarang tanda-tanda bahawa dia masih hidup
matanya, nafasnya, jantungnya semuanya telah berhenti berfungsi.”

“Doktor. Saya tidak Nampak apa kamu buat tadi. Boleh ulang?”
That came from a middle age male in a collared Tee. The one I thought was the head of the family. Fatigue evident in his eyes. He was almost pleading.

“baiklah”

This time I explained each and every step as I went through the motions, in Malay.

‘If the Brain and Cranial nerves were intact- the pupils would dilate’
those that stood by the sidelines crept and inched nearer to the table, to see her eyes better.

‘This Corneal reflex is what protects our eyes, when a foreign object threatens our vision. It is absent in her.’

‘If the brainstem was still intact, her eyes would stay fixed on me when I turn her head, evidently this is not happening’

‘She has no carotid pulse, the brain would be severely hypoxic without blood supply’

‘I can hear no breath sounds’

‘There is no heart beat. As you can see, her fingers and toes are all deep blue, that means they have been without oxygen for too long’

A voice came from behind the crowd.
“tadi bukan gitu”

then there was a murmur of voices.

The Man, said: “tadi kami pegang ada denyutan nadi.”
His words carefully measured. No more. No less.
The Strain in his voice can be appreciated.

“Saya tidak pasti, saya bukan kata bahawa kamu orang salah, tapi, ada kemungkinan, ada mungkin kamu terasa nadi kamu sendiri, lebih lebih kalau kamu pakai ibu jari untuk merasa”

Secretly, I wanted to tell them they will feel and see whatever their minds wanted them to see. They would be imagining a pulse in her, when it is their own.

I glanced around the room. Some were fidgeting, some looked at the Man. Others looked at me. The Man looked at the ground

There was a eerie silence that I hope I could pierce. It lasted far too long.

“Apa kata macam ini. Biar ahli keluarga terdekat berada di sini. Yang lain keluar dulu. Saya akan terang dengan terperinci sekali lagi. Lepas tu, kamu orang boleh terangkan kepada ahli keluarga yang lain. ”

At a loss for words, I could sense the Man was glad he could detach himself from the gaze of his family as he ushered them out of the room, save five.

Apparently, he is reluctant to make the call to end the examination. To do so, would mean he is giving up hope, on their behalf.

“Sebelum saya bermula, ada apa apa soalan kah?”

“Doktor, Selalukah orang mati hidup balik? Saya tengok berita itu selalu berlaku”

I almost shook my head in disbelief.
“Itu Cuma berlaku dalam Berita yang diterbitkan Metro sahaja.” -I took the opportunity to have a pot-shot at one of the papers I hate the most for the low quality journalism it carries, with a tendency to sensationalize whatever little bit of inconsequential news it can get- “Kalau yang sebenarnya, ini tidak pernah berlaku dalam pengalaman saya. Tidak pernah yang telah disahkan meninggal hidup kembali, dalam wayang mungkinlah”

“Jadi, Kenapa tadi saya dapat rasa nadi-nya?”

“Seperti yang saya terangkan tadi, besar kemungkinan itu nadi kamu sendiri”

A Male relative chipped in
“Kalau dia mati tadi, kenapa kamu doktor tak tekan dada?”

“Encik, saya tidak pasti apa yang berlaku di wad tadi, tapi kalau tiada tekan dada (CPR), mesti doctor sudah bincang dengan ahli keluarga. Betul tak?

The Man nodded yes.

The Man’s turn to speak. “Tapi, kamu orang tidak shock dia”

I couldn’t help but sigh as I replied, silently cursing all the drama series who showed every heart patient needs to be shocked using a defibrillator-

“Bukan macam tu Encik. Bukan semua patient perlukan renjatan elektrik tu. Itu hanya untuk pesakit yang ritma jantung dia lari encik.”

I Knew I had no one to back me up on everything I have said.
There I was, a young man of 27 trying to convince a family where all its members are considered my elders in age. To make matters worse, I couldn’t speak Dusun.

I knew any waver in confidence or demeanour would mean an immediate failure of the counselling session, followed by an immediate embarrassment at having my superior called here to tell them the exact same thing that I said.

The Man Spoke again “ Mungkin kah dia sekarang dalam coma?”
“ Coma boleh bermaksud banyak keadaan yang lain, Encik. Apa yang saya rasa encik bermaksud, adalah otak yang tidak berfungsi tetapi organ lain masih berfungsi. Tapi encik, seperti yang ditunjukkan tadi semua organ utamanya sudah tidak ada. Lagipun, kalau otak coma, pesakit perlukan bantuan pernafasan dan lain lain, kalau dibiarkan begitu saja, pesakit yang koma pun sukar mahu hidup”

This time, a pregnany lady quipped
“ Tapi badannya masih panas”

I really don’t know how long this is going to drag on. It is very very apparent they just couldn’t let go. And yet I can’t show my frustration.

“Mana kamu rasa tadi puan? Belakang dia kan? Ini bilik berhawa dingin, tadi dia telah dimandikan, seluruh badannya sudahpun sejuk, bahagian yang menghadap ke bawah lah yang akan menahan haba paling lama, iaitu belakangnya.

After that, I went through all the steps to certify patient’s departure.

Then I told them, maybe you can call the other family members and we can open the floor for questions.

They came in once again. This time an elderly lady came to the fore. I think she just arrived from the interior regions of Sabah. She Spoke first

“Urat muka dia masih lembut bah, dia masih hidup.”

I was at a loss.

At this rate, nothing I say is gonna change anything. What am I to do?

To me relief, a family member gently held her hand and brought her to the side, whispering to her along the way.

“Mungkin saya masih muda dan pengalaman saya sekadar 2 tahun. Tetapi kalau anda semua masih musykil, boleh kamu bertanya juga Pegawai saya Encik Ronney, Dia ni sungguh berpengalaman dan boleh membantu saya menerangkan kepada anda semua sekali lagi.

At my cue, my assistant went over to the distraught mother and started explaining to her in Dusun what transpired. The other relatives listened intently.

I could sense the tension in the room lift a little. I walked over to the Man, which I came to learn was the patient’s husband. He squatted next to the wardrobe, holding a cream coloured dress while absent-mindedly smoothing out the edges. I placed my hand over his shoulder

“encik ok tak? Saya tahu memang susah untuk menerima pemergian isteri anda. Kalau kamu semua ingin pihak hospital menekan dada dan cuba sedaya upaya, kami tidak boleh menolak permintaan anda. Tetapi sesungguhnya ia tidak membawa manfaat kepadanya. Ada mungkin tulang rusuknya akan patah.”

He stood up
He nodded but did not reply.

It is almost 12 midnight. An Hour has passed. Just a moment ago, I felt as if I was in the defendant’s box defending the diagnosis of death while the judge jury and executioner were all in disbelief.

“Kalian semua, kami terpaksa balik hospital dahulu. Saya berharap kamu dapat terima pemergiannya dengan hati yang tenang. Kalau ada apa apa soalan, silalah bertanya.”

Silence.

“Kami pergi dulu.”

As I left the room, I held on to my MA for emotional support.
I felt extreme relief, and I knew I couldn’t have done it without my supporting staff.
When I was a medical student, there was a component of our studies called Personal and Professional development, focusing on self improvement, communication skills and group dynamics. I can really feel its impact sinking in. Without that training, I wouldn’t have been able to keep my cool throughout the gruelling session. Thank you UKM.

I turned to my MA, Ronney

“Bro, berapa lama sudah kerja?”
“Lapan….dekat sepuluh tahun..”
“Pernahkah jumpa situasi macam nih?”
“Tidak pernah boss. Nasib ada boss, kalau saya datang tadi tanpa Doktor escort, entah apa saya mahu cakap”
“saya pun rasa nasib baik ada kamu, susah sangat mereka mahu percaya saya, muda sangat kut”
“tapi boss, badan dia tadi rasa macam suam-lah, macam lain sikit”
“……..”

Its Eggsciting! Incubating Chicken Eggs!

I was thrilled To note that out of my 8 eggs, 6 had embryos!
those 6 were the smaller type, 'kampung-chicken' eggs, while 2 others were larger, with thicker shells. With my poor candling abilities, I'm afraid I won't know whether the large ones are fertilized or not till much later down the road. And sadly, one of large ones cracked... and mom used it for cooking -.-''

(at least you can convince your parents nothing goes to waste in this experiment... if the whole brood fails, well.. you get a huge omelette for your efforts!)

The thrill came because at the start, all of the eggs registered null and void on "ultrasound", and mom said all are duds.. better use them for cooking while they're still fresh. I persevered, hoping that the little ones inside will grow fast and show themselves.. or else I may abandon the project by Day 5 , not wanting to waste good eggs...

But suprise, Suprise!
On the 4th day of incubation, an egg held in hand, I really scrutinized the whole egg surface while candling, and a black dot showed up. I tot it was a shell artifact, but WAIT, the black dot actually moves around when I turn the egg.... Its an embryo!




A Closer look will reveal that it is a round silhouette with tentacles spreading in all directions.. The embryo with blood vessels.



And 6 of them had this!
My Homemade incubator actually works! Yeeha!

Reading online tutorials on incubator making was kinda frustrating actually,
They looked fancy, with detailed instructions, but they do not provide the principles behind the construction. With princicples in mind, we can choose what modifications are necessary to cater to the Malaysian Climate. Many had parts which I felt was unnecessary (leading to unnecessary cost!), and I skipped those in my construction.

A breakdown of an incubator would be like this, with the following accompanying precepts. I hope my explanation cuts it, :-) I had to sieve through lots of information before a whole picture was seen



1) You want a box of any sort (RE-use where you can)- an unwanted ice box, a discarded polystyrene box, a A4 paper carton (or in my case, B5 (=^.^=). The main thing is you need something that can keep the heat in.

2) You need a heat source, to bring up the temperature to about 38Deg celcius or 99.5 Fahrenheit. Eggs Start to develop overseas when temperatures are above 30 degrees (some sources say 20 degrees.. but in malaysia, 20 degrees is considered cold!, my room temeprature averages at 32!!!) at low temperatures, eggs develop too slowly.. and you don't know whether they have stalled, or quit the race altogether. Too high, >40 degrees, and you'll get quarter boiled eggs, the embryos will die.

[did you know that low temperatures make boys and higher ones make girls in Turtle eggs? So, essentially BOYS are COOL and GIRLS are HOT!!!!]


3) Humidity is provided through evaporative methods- and 50-60% RH (relative humidity) for the first 18 days, and 70-80 for the last 3 days. Maintaning humidity is important because moisture is burnt off by the heat. if it gets too dry, the eggs dessicate and the young chick gets plastered to the wall with no room for movement, and deformed chicks result.

4) you want the whole box to heat up evenly, and a fan is used to distribute the heat.

5)Eggs need to be rotated 3 times a day, so that the embryo doesn't get stuck..
the number 3 is arbitrary, so long as you rotate them an odd number of times each day because there will be a period (night) where they will be untouched the longest, and we want the eggs to be in a different position thruout this long period, everyday.

[you may think I'm silly, but I think handling the eggs fosters a bond, which will help with the imprinting process later}

6)Ventilation: fresh air is needed. So making holes on your box near the bottom (heat rises, drawing air from lower areas allows good transfer) does that.


Those are the main points in constructing an incubator of your own.

If you reuse materials-, paper boxes, old light bulbs, your mum's decorative cups (oops!), .. the cost will be below RM5! if you don't go for the gadgets..


Here's what my incubator looks like, on the inside


if you notice from the covered incubator picture, There's this window on the left lower corner for me to see the readings without opening the box. you can make this using thick plastic (or from scrapbook covers/ glass/ or even salvage from those room-with- a- view envelopes).

Inside, Eggs are arranged in 2 rows.
eggs need to be on their sides (natural position), and not in egg cartons(upright) because the embryo may develop upside down and drown when exiting the egg. I made this mistake initially.. so you see the carton at the side, now serving to block off direct heat.

• The computer fan is mounted on a cardboard cover, and stabilized with four bikibi-s.
• between the heat source (a 60W lamp) and the eggs are a salvaged wooden lid and the cardboard cover. This is so to prevent direct heat from the bulb.. in which the front eggs will be heated up too quickly, the back eggs too cold.
  [heat is distributed by conduction/ convection/ evaporation/ radiation. We only want number 2 and 3 here. The boards prevent number 4.

• there are glass cups with tissue paper extending out to increase the surface area for evaporation
• The Thermo-hygrometer measures the temperature and humidity. I couldn't find a cheaper electronic one other than this.. Which cost RM45 at T.S electronics. If you have a mercury body thermometer at home, maybe you can use that to save cost. There are analog humidity monitors which may cost much less available.
• Hmmm... what is this black plug thing? Does it look strangely really familiar?It's to power the fan! As The fans come in various sizes, you need to adjust the Voltage with a DC converter (direct current, from alternating current). Usually old handphone charges will do the trick. In my case, this is a salvaged fan I kept for 7 years!!! knowing that someday I will use it.. MUAHAHAHAHAHa... :p
  
  It's a 12 volt fan, but my charger is a 240V down to 6V converter.. half the amount of required voltage... but hey, It works fine!

In this picture below, you can see the carcass of a massacred darlie toothpaste tube.
Because of using a cardboard box, there was a worry that when left unattended at night, the whole box will catch fire, and bring my 70 year old shop-house down. (we sleep at another house at night) So I needed some aluminum thingy to conduct the heat away quick enough.. mum pointed to the toothpaste tube she salvaged.. Hehe.. Family of hoarders!!!!



Ok, part A is done... the next post, will be about candling your eggs!

Return to innocence

Long time no post! (=^.^=)

Reason for Hiatus- Enjoying my quarter-year sabbatical over at aoteoroa, Land of the long white cloud!

This post however, will not be about the trip, instead, It will chronicle my foray into egg-hatching!

i've built an egg incubator from an A4 paper carton, computer fan, light bulbs with some scientific help from a thermo-hygrometer.

Was scouting for 2 weeks for kampung eggs, a rare commodity these days,
(The western term for it would be free-range eggs)
And finally I've got 8 of them today!

This project would not have been possible without help from
http://www.backyardchickens.com

Photos will be coming soon!

Musings

would you be happier, if were someone else all together?
would the sun shine brighter, if you took a different path?

~wondering whether who I am, sucks, again.

Why do I always do it the wrong way?

Been trying to catch myself each time Before I utter something silly
Or do something stupid...

Before it starts to irritate someone.
But I've overwhelmed by my tongue being faster than my brain.

Damn.
I promise to practice greater restraint.

I'm sorry.

得意良曲

曾经认为这首歌很得意。。。 如今还是`。。但有不同眼光:-)   恋爱症候群 作词：黄舒骏 作曲：黄舒骏    (989 words)  http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/1asB5UQN7V0/   

 关 於 恋 爱 症 候 群 的 发 生 原 因  

 至 今 仍 然 是 最 大 的 一 个 谜  

不 管 性 别 年 龄 职 业 体 重 学 历 长 像 和 血 型   

没 有 一 个 人 可 以 免 疫  

有 些 专 家 学 者 研 究 后 相 信   

恋 爱 是 内 分 泌 失 调 所 引 起  

却 有 别 人 认 为 恋 爱 属 於 滤 过 性 病 毒 

像 感 冒 无 药 可 救 但 会 自 动 痊 愈  

不 管 你 同 不 同 意   

至 古 到 今 许 多 例 子 证 明 

 恋 爱 不 但 是 一 种 病 态   

它 还 可 能 是 一 种 变 态  

 一 般 发 病 后 的 初 期 反 应   

会 开 始 改 变 一 些 生 活 习 性  

洗 澡 洗 得 特 别 乾 净   

刷 牙 刷 的 特 别 用 力   

半 夜 忽 然 爬 起 来 弹 钢 琴  

有 人 每 天 站 在 阳 台 对 路 人 傻 笑   

有 人 突 然 疯 疯 癫 癫 突 然 很 安 静  

有 人 一 脸 痴 呆 对 著 镜 子 咬 著 指 甲 打 喷 嚏   

有 人 对 小 狗 骂 三 字 经  女 人 突 然 改 变 发 型   

男 人 开 始 每 天 练 著 哑 铃  

食 欲 不 振 歇 斯 底 里 四 肢 萎 缩 神 经 过 敏 发 抖 抽 筋 都 出 现 在 这 时 期   

随 著 病 情 越 来 越 变 本 加 厉   

人 会 变 得 格 外 敏 感 勇 敢 和 恶 心  

写 的 说 的 唱 的 都 像 天 才 诗 人 一 般 才 华 洋 溢   

越 肉 麻 越 觉 得 有 趣  有 人 恋 爱 之 后 每 天 躲 在 厕 所 哭 泣   

有 人 开 记 者 会 宣 布 恋 爱 的 消 息  有 人 总 是 喜 欢 两 个 人 躲 在 黑 漆 漆 的 地 方   

像 做 了 不 可 告 人 的 事 情  每 天 忙 著 找 人 算 命   

挖 空 心 思 改 变 自 己 配 合 对 方 的 习 性  

把 每 天 都 当 作 纪 念 日   

把 自 己 当 作 纪 念 品   

每 天 漫 无 目 的 腻 在 一 起   

言 不 及 义 也 觉 得 好 有 趣  走 著 坐 著 躺 著 趴 著 都 形 影 不 离   

像 是 两 人 三 脚 又 像 连 体 婴  

心 里 想 的 只 有 爱 你 爱 你 爱 你 爱 你   

也 不 管 家 里 米 缸 有 没 有 米  

也 不 管 路 上 有 人 示 威 抗 议   

只 管 爱 你  心 里 想 的 只 有 爱 你 爱 你 爱 你 爱 你   

也 不 管 海 峡 两 岸 统 一 问 题  也 不 管 依 索 比 亚 多 少 难 民   

只 管 爱 你   

经 过 一 番 轰 轰 烈 烈 热 恋 时 期   

不 久 就 会 开 始 渐 渐 痊 愈  

两 人 开 始 互 相 厌 倦 互 相 攻 击 对 方 缺 点   

所 有 甜 蜜 都 随 风 而 去  

然 后 开 始 从 错 觉 然 误 解 中 清 醒  

 惊 讶 自 己 为 何 如 此 不 聪 明  

为 了 爱 情 不 顾 一 切 不 管 父 母 朋 友 姊 妹 兄 弟   

开 始 感 到 后 悔 不 已  

然 后 开 始 感 到 疲 惫 沈 闷 气 喘 心 悸 牙 痛 头 痛 梦 呓  

然 后 是 精 神 不 济 瞳 孔 放 大 脾 气 暴 躁 四 肢 麻 痹   

终 於 受 不 了 要 分 离   

虽 然 结 果 颇 令 人 伤 心   

了 解 之 后 也 没 什 麼 了 不 起  

爱 情 终 究 是 握 不 住 的 云   

只 是 我 想 要 告 诉 你 ：  

在 我 落 寞 的 岁 月 里   

你 的 温 柔 解 脱 我 的 孤 寂  

带 给 我 深 深 的 呼 吸   

轻 轻 颤 动 著 我 的 心 灵  

我 要 对 你 说 爱 你 爱 你 爱 你 爱 你  

不 管 是 黑 夜 或 是 黎 明  

不 管 是 梦 中 或 是 清 醒  

深 深 爱 你  

多 麼 幸 福  

让 我 遇 见 你

小心情

Little did I know
It would show

my vulnerabilities

my vanity

all out in the open
for all to see

I know who I am
more importantly

you know who I am

a little chip here

a crack over there

I'm not perfect

but I try to be

I know what I must work on

Happy that you held on

your faith in me oh so strong

it takes so little

to keep the grin

plastered on your face

it takes so little
to stem the flow
of the tears, you show

what we share

what we care

oh that's so rare

we shall work hand in hand

keep the fire burnin

keep our fingers crossed

and keep the faith going

that we're meant for each other

that we'll work together

hopefully, it'll last forever.

dedicated to "morepork", my love.

We share~

a love for cuteness

we laugh at the smallest thing

(and we hug at every available occasion!;p)

a sense of easy contentment

understand the need for frugality

a love for the written word

art, though in different forms

passion in the things we believe in

trust in each other

comprehend the importance of communication and discussion

realize that there is so much we don't know, and be willing to learn

and more importantly, we support the other in all things we don't (currently) share.

Ruru~ I love you!

Ode

As the rains fall....
the tears follow...

we bid our last goodbyes,

as the children cry,

although mum says

"he's gone to a better place"

they can't help themselves out of the daze

our life's work

is judged by our ways

how you're sent off will depend,

who's hand you held
and who's live's you've touched

be it so small

the footprint says it all
everyone's not an island

lives are helplessly linked

even when a tiny pebble comes along

the ripples spread far and wide

may you rest well

may you have joy

may your spirit and wisdom

be carried on....

Dedicated to my Neighbour, Uncle Goh- who passed away This wednesday, 26th January, 2011

Song About me Hehe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBzA76QGgz8

Float like a butterfly, Run like a lizard; on water!

Have you heard of Jesus Lizards or Basilisk Lizards?

The former got their name from being able to split the streams they run in into two.. heh, Just kidding.

It comes from their ability to run across water for 4-5 metres at a time, at their hindlegs!

why my sudden interest in these lizards?

Because right now I may be taking care of one!

This little guy, I don't his common name, nor his species but what I can describe about him, is this.





He measures Around 8.5cm from head to tail, at the moment,
with the head and body taking up 3.0 cm.. the rest of him all tail!
He's got a splayed hind foot, with the fourth toe the longest,
and he's got eye marking on the back of his head, something reminiscent of Cobras.



I'm guessing what he will grow up to be

1)- A Chameleon,
2)- An Iguana
3)- A running lizard
4)- A house lizard. LOL

And his long tail piqued my interest.

Here's what I found.

Bipedal Lizards at blistering speed
explains via freeze frame as well as videos (lab) how lizards run faster bipedally.

Here's a National Geographic Video, of a Young Basilisk Lizard runs on Water

And here: Is the explanation of how it freakin does it!

And I'd appreciate any guesses to what kinda Dinosaur or Dragon he is! :-)::-)

Need Help With Species Identification

Calling out to Any backyard Naturalist that happen to pass by:
Need your help with putting a name to the subjects of my photographs!

Location: FRIM Outpost in Teluk Intan/ Bidor and Teluk Intan itself

More photos of this series can be seen HERE

Preview - NZ diaries

1) Wanna go back to the days where manual labour was the order of the day and my gray matter can rest (its cerebellum) on its laurels.

2) To get attuned to my instincts, to hone my 6th sense, to feel the vibe of the earth, to get in touch with Gaia! To trust my gut feeling and go with the flow. and be steadfast with what happens next, no complaints! Learn to make a decision and bear the consequences!

3) What will it b like to be in the company of someone for 2 whole months! despite her being the love of my life; I think it'll take some getting used to, and wonder whether will we ever get tired of each other? hmmmm.... Preview of future houseman life....?

4) Learn to put Dale CArnegie to the fore. By going to someplace new, where everyone is a stranger, where no one has preconceived notions about me, I'm free to tweak my personality and demeanour. GRanted, I've always been myself, And now I'll try NOT to be myself, and see how that works for me, in terms of building relationships. Maybe the real me has been a Jackass all this while. LOL

i wanna learn to be a great storyteller! It will help in catching people's attention for my environmental work!

5)I'll probably be stuck in my profession for at least a good 20 years (after which I'll aim for retirement one way or another. Medicine will be on the side. Like Potato chips on the side of Nando's Chicken, ru hui's favourtie dish. (Oh shit. In Leru's case, The chips are the main course, the chicken? probably she thinks of it as coleslaw. LOL). So, Before I get stuck in Mud for the next 2 decades, I'll go for fresh stuff and new experiences... and build life stories and anecdotes for my children.

6) maybe I can join an environmental network in New Zealand. And ruru can join the knitting and sketching society! That way when we get too bored with each other, we'd have other people to complain about each other. HEH!

7) LEAP of FAITH. BUNGEEEEEEEEE.
SKydiving! Things to do! Play with kiwi bird! and compare size. ^.^

Tochang... Tong tong tong chiang! LOL

True Blue Malaysian. Need more of 'em!

http://sayaanakbangsamalaysia.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=477:fundamentally-azmi&catid=34:that-malaysian-thing&Itemid=93

Theatera Bombastica?

Below is from a page calling for membership in MMA's(Malaysian Medical Association) Magazine

The branches and sections of the MMA, (SCHOMOS & PPSMMA) need to be active so that MMA grows. They need to garner more support for MMA so that MMA speaks with a stentorian voice on matters affecting the profession. Doctors should not stay billeted within the confines of their workspace. Doctors are not in a couture profession.

The MMA needs to asseverate its position very clearly to the Government so that the MMa can forfend policies that are detrimental to the public and the profession. Fortunately, the Ministry of Health (MOH) has a warm and engaging relationship with MMA. The MOH has always lent their ears to the EMMA. There are moments when sensitivities are kindled but to have a meaningful relationship which works for the hoi polloi of the nation, not just the doctors, the MMA perseverates on some policy matters till a satisfactory exegesis is obtained during the meetings. Unlike others, the MOH does not have a carapace of arrogance. Under the mentorship of the warm minister and the effervescent DG of health, the MMA has gone places with the MOH. But sometimes the government appears to draw up a gallimaufry of health policies without consulting the MOH. The government needs to take cognizance of the view of the MOH and MMA

The MMA should never go into a soporific mode and stay alert to the developments and directions the Government takes on health matters. We, as doctors, should contribute our ideas. We should get involved and thus far, the MOH has been responsive to the EMMA. We should be engaging, involved and cogitate in resolving burning issues and not be intrepid however obfuscate the policy is.

The MMA receives a stream of outright billingsgate from some members. But, we have to be realistic. Diplomacy and meetings which are germane to the issue will be a benison to all of us. No issue should be blown to Brobdingnagian proportions that cannot be resolved. We need irenic diplomacy and civic humanism to resolve matters rather than adopt a myrmidon stance. MMA does not rusticate on issues affecting the profession. Be assured that the MMA looks into all problems that affect the public and private sector doctors. The media does not always carry MMA's ratiocinating views.

On your part, get your friends to join the MMA and make MMA more roborant so that the profession is viewed with more empathy and respect.

Have fun interpreting the Article!

The meanings are listed below in order of appearance

1. Booming

2. Lodging- staying in

3. High fashion design – as in haute couture

4. Assert

5.Prevent the Occurence of

6. Interpretation (used in the context of the bible)

7. Bubbly, (though its hard to imagine the DG of health being bubbly..)

8. A motley assortment of- the three stooges?

9. Ken. Comprende. Savvy

10. Sleep inducing - like our lectures

11. Think

12. Make obscure - cover with a veil

13. Foul-mouthed or obscene abuse. profanity

14. A spoken blessing (as opposed to deer meat? LOL)

15. Immense – referring to imaginary country of Brobdingnag (What the Hell?)

16. Conducive to peace

17. a member of the warriors who followed Achilles on the expedition against Troy- a follower who follows orders without question
(as opposed to following without thinking? well, it can't be helped if the leader's cerebral capacity is so constricted- think UMNO) lol.- coin- UMNO-nic stance.

(case in point

"Johor Baru Puteri Umno chief Azura Mohd Afandi wants the Information Ministry to curb television shows and commercials that could lead people astray from the right religious paths. “For example, commercials on sanitary pads are openly shown on TV and this could influence the young to get involved in social ills,” said Azura")

18. Leaving a rustic idyllic life- in this context, I think it means "rest and do nothing about", here.

19. Reason methodologically and logically

20. Restoring vigor or strength.

PS-*Theatera bombastica probably can't be found because... well, I coined it. Lol*

Parenting: East Vs West 孩子教育学问深奥!

Such as interesting article, I don't know the source, but kudos to the author!


洋媳婦的教育方法...令中國婆婆大開眼界~

兒子去美國留學，畢業後定居美國。還給我找了個洋媳婦蘇珊。如今，小孫子托比已經3歲了。今年夏天，兒子為我申請了探親簽證。在美國待了三個月，洋媳婦蘇珊教育孩子的方法，令我這個中國婆婆大開眼界。

不吃飯就餓著

每天早上，托比醒來後，蘇珊把早餐往餐桌上一放，就自顧自地忙去了。托比會自己爬上凳子，喝牛奶，吃麵包片。吃飽後，他回自己的房間，在衣櫃裡找衣服、鞋子，再自己穿上。畢竟托比只有3歲，還搞不清楚子的正反面，分不清鞋子的左右腳。有一次托比又把褲子穿反了，我趕緊上前想幫他換，卻被蘇珊制止了。她說，如果他覺得不舒服，會自己脫下來，重新穿好；如果他沒覺得有什麼不舒服，那就隨他的便。那一整天，托比反穿著褲子跑來跑去，蘇姍像沒看見一樣。

又一會而，托比出去和鄰居家的小朋友玩，沒多久，氣喘吁吁地跑回家，對蘇珊說：「媽媽，露西說我的褲子穿反了，真的嗎？」露西是鄰居家的小姑娘，今年5 歲。蘇姍笑著說： 「是的，你要不要換回來？」托比點點頭，自己脫下褲子，仔細看了看，重新穿上了。從那以後，托比再也沒穿反過褲子。

我不禁想起，我的外孫女五六歲時不會用筷子，上小學時不會繫鞋帶。如今在上寄宿制初中的她，每個週末都要帶回家一大堆髒衣服呢。

一天中午，托比鬧情緒，不肯吃飯。蘇珊說了他幾句，憤怒地小托比一把將盤子推到了地上，盤子裡的食物灑了一地。蘇姍看著托比，認真地說：「看來你確實不想吃飯！記住，從現在到明天早上，你什麼都不能吃。」托比點點頭，堅定地回答：「Yes!」我在心裡暗笑，這母子倆，還都挺倔 ！

下午，蘇珊和我商量，晚上由我做中國菜。我心領神會，托 比告別愛吃中國菜，一定是蘇珊覺得托比中午沒好好吃飯，想讓他晚上多吃點兒。

那天晚上我施展廚藝，做了托比最愛吃的糖醋裡脊、油悶大蝦，還用意大利麵做了中國式的涼麵。托比最喜歡吃那種涼麵，小小的人可以吃滿滿一大盤。

開始吃晚飯了，托比歡天喜地地爬上凳子。蘇珊卻走過來，拿走了他的盤子和刀叉，說：「我們已經約好了，今天你不能吃飯，你自己也答應了的。」托比看著面容嚴肅的媽媽，「哇」地一聲在哭起來，邊哭邊說：「媽媽，我餓，我要吃飯。」「不行，說過的話要算數。」蘇珊毫不心軟。

我心疼了，想替托比求情，說點好話，卻見兒子對我使眼色。想起我剛到美國時，兒子就跟我說，在美國，父母教育孩子時，別人千萬不要插手，即使是長輩也不例外。無奈，我! 只好保持沉默。

那頓飯，從始至終，可憐的小托比一直坐在玩具車裡，眼巴! 巴地看著我們三個大人狼吞虎嚥。我這才明白蘇珊讓我做中餐的真正用意。我相信，下一次，托比想發脾氣扔飯碗時，一定會想起自己餓著肚子看爸爸媽媽和奶奶享用美食的經歷。餓著肚子的滋味不好受，況且還是面對自己最喜愛的食物。

臨睡前，我和蘇珊一起去向托比道晚安。托比小心翼翼地問： 「媽媽，我很餓，現在我能吃中國面嗎？」蘇珊微笑著搖搖頭，堅決地說：「不！」托比嘆了口氣，又問：「那等我睡完覺睜開眼睛時，可以吃嗎？」「當然可以。」蘇珊溫柔地回答。托比甜甜地笑了。

大部分情況下，托比吃飯都很積極，他不想因為「罷吃」而錯過食物，再受餓肚子的苦。每當看到托比埋頭大口大口地! 吃飯，嘴上臉上粘的都是食物時，我就想起外孫女。她像托比這麼大時，為了哄她吃飯，幾個大人端著飯碗跟在她屁股後面跑，她還不買賬，還要談條件：吃完這碗買一個玩具，再吃一碗買一個玩具……

以其人之道，還治其人這身

有一天，我們帶托比去公園玩。很快，托比就和兩個女孩兒玩起了廚房遊戲。塑料小鍋、小鏟子、小盤子、小碗擺了一地。忽然，淘氣的托比拿起小鍋，使勁在一個女孩兒頭上敲了一下，女孩兒愣了一下，放聲大哭。另一個女孩兒年紀更小一些，見些情形，也被嚇得大哭起來。大概托比沒想到會有這麼嚴重的後果，站在一旁，愣住了。

蘇珊走上前，開清了事情的來龍去脈後，她一聲不吭，拿起小鍋，使勁敲到托比的頭上，托比沒防備，一下子跌坐在草地上，哇哇大哭起來。蘇珊問托比：「疼嗎？下次還這樣嗎？」 托比一邊哭，一邊拚命搖頭。? 說他以後再也不會這麼做了。

托比的舅舅送了他一輛淺藍色的小自行車，托比非常喜歡， 當成寶貝，不許別人碰。鄰居小姑娘露西是托比的好朋友，央求托比好幾次，要騎他的小車，托比都沒答應。

一次，幾個孩子一起玩時，露西趁托比不注意，偷偷騎上小車，揚長而去。托比發現後，氣憤地跑來向蘇珊告狀。蘇珊正和幾個孩子的母親一起聊天喝咖啡，便微笑著說：「你們的事情自己解決，媽媽可管不了。」托比無奈地走了。

過了一小會兒，露西騎著小車回來了。托比看到露西，一把將她推倒在地，搶過了小車。露西坐在地上大哭起來。蘇珊抱起露西，安撫了她一會兒。很快，露西就和別的小朋友興高采烈地玩了起來。

托比自己騎了會車，覺得有些無聊，看到那幾個孩子玩得那麼高興，他想加入，又覺得有些不好意思。他蹭到蘇珊身邊，嘟囔道：「媽媽，我想跟露西他們一起玩。」蘇珊不動聲色地說：「那你自己去找他們啦！」「媽媽，你陪我一起去。 」 托比懇求道。 「那可不行，剛才是你把露西弄哭的，現在你又想和大家玩，就得自己去解決問題。」

托比騎著小車慢慢靠近露西，快到她身邊時，又掉頭回來。來回好幾次，不知道從什麼時候開始，托比和露西又笑逐顏開，鬧成了一團。

管教孩子是父母的事

蘇珊的父母住在加利福尼亞州，聽說我來了，兩人開車來探望我們。家裡來了客人，托比很興奮，跑上跑下地亂竄。他把玩沙子用的小桶裝滿了水，提著小桶在屋裡四處轉悠。蘇珊警告了她好幾次，不要把水灑到地板上，托比置若罔聞。最後，托比還是把水桶弄倒了，水灑了一地。興奮的小托比不覺得自己做錯了事，還得意地光著腳丫踩水玩，把褲子全弄濕了。我連忙找出拖把準備拖地。蘇珊從我手中搶過拖把交給托比，對他說：「把地拖幹，把濕衣服脫下來，自己洗乾淨。」托比不願意，又哭又鬧的，蘇珊二話不說，直接把他拉到貯藏室，關了禁閉。聽到托比在裡面發出驚天動地的哭喊，我心疼壞了，想進去把他抱出來。托比的外婆卻攔住我，說： 「這是蘇珊的事。」

過了一會兒，托比不哭了，他在貯藏室裡大聲喊：「媽媽，我錯了。」蘇珊站在門外，問：「那你知道該怎麼做了嗎？」 「我知道。 」蘇珊打開門，托比從貯藏室走出來，臉上還掛著兩行淚珠。他拿起有他兩個高的拖把吃力地把地上的水拖乾淨。然後，他脫下褲子，拎在手上，光著屁股走進洗手間，稀里嘩啦地洗起衣服來。

托比的外公外婆看著表情驚異的我，意味深長地笑了。這件事讓我感觸頗深。在很多中國家庭，父母管教孩子時，常常會引起「世界大戰」，往往是外婆外公護，爺爺奶奶攔! ! 夫妻吵架，雞飛狗跳。

後來，我和托比的外公外婆聊天時，提到這件事，托比的外公說了一段話，讓我印象深刻。他說，孩子是父母的孩子，首先要尊重父母對孩子的教育方式。孩子雖然小，卻是天生的外交家，當他看到家庭成員之間出現分歧時，他會很聰明地鑽空子。這不僅對改善他的行為毫無益處，反而會導致問題越來越嚴重，甚至帶來更多別的問題。而且，家庭成員之間發生衝突，不和諧的家庭氛圍會帶給孩子更多的不安全感，對孩子的心理髮展產生不利影響。所以，無論是父輩與祖輩在教育孩子的問題上發生分歧，還是夫妻兩人的教育觀念有差異，都不能在孩子麵前發生衝突。

托比的外公外婆在家裡住了一週，準備回加利福尼亞了。臨走前兩天，托比的外公鄭重地問女兒：「托比想要一輛玩具挖掘機，我可以買給他嗎？」蘇珊想了想，說：「你們這次來，已經送給他一雙旱冰鞋作為禮物了，到聖誕節時，再買玩具挖掘機當禮物送給他吧！」

我不知道托比的外公是怎麼告訴小傢伙的，後來我帶托比去超市，他指著玩具挖掘機說：「外公說，聖誕節時，給我買這個當禮物。」語氣裡滿是欣喜和期待。

雖然蘇珊對托比如此嚴格，托比卻對媽媽愛得不得了。他在外面玩時，會採集一些好看的小花或者他認為漂亮的葉子，鄭重其事地送給媽媽；別人送給他禮物，他會叫媽媽和他一起拆開；有什麼好吃的，也總要留一半給媽媽。

想到很多中國孩子對父母的漠視與冷淡，我不得不佩服我的洋媳婦。在我看來，在教育孩子的問題上，美國媽媽有很多值得中國媽媽學習的地方。

The Sentimental Luddite

Is sentimentality over-rated?

If you've chanced by the article about a tomboyish girl and her 11 year old pink scissors given by her mum (which she hated) and now cherish in memory [in Starmag today, 3rd of October, TheStar.] it might trigger your thoughts a little.

My dad had a watch, given by his dad, which he used for more than 45 years. He couldn't part with it even when it breathed its last (despite innumerable fixes and CPRs). And I believe he's still keeping it somewhere safe, laying in the midst of his black hole of a Cabinet

Then there's this guy in ?japan ?UK who has been using the same Gillete Razor for 75 years.

I bet if you're Gillette, he'd be The MOST LOYAL customer ever, that you wouldn't want, LOL. Coz his first purchase, is his last purchase..

Do you have something in your keeping that you know will practically be useless, even as a decorative piece? I know I have plenty....

Nowadays, there's a Gadget-Grabbing Techno Rage that surrounds us, Iphone 4 being the recent case in point.




With radio deejays, blog posts humming the Apple's Tune, there's really been a craze over it...

but, as I've said in my facebook wall-post,

Going out for dinner that day, we saw how many parents gave their childrens gadgets; initially it could have started with a mobile phone java game- parents passing the phone to child who claims they are bored in order to shut them up so that parents can do their shopping in peace.

Now we have dad, mom, and child playing with gadgets during dinner, with grandma looking forlorn at the food because no one is talking at a meal.

I believe children who you shut up with gadgets, will really no longer talk to you when they are adolescents, being absorbed by the fancy tech, and the relationship will just turn worse into adulthood.

So I'm a luddite; until we can really plan, and educate them about using it responsibily. I've seen People who get caught up with gadgets, often turning into otakus, becoming less adventurous, reliant on their GPS, lose their natural instincts for adventure... bla bla bla..

Coz I really pity the grandma... and discussion with my colleagues on it. 3 out of 4 of them recommend that they should buy grandma a gadget.

It's really Sweat inducing, their mentality...

Technology should improve communication, not stifle it. Especially within families.

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That said, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, as they are entitled to the autonomy over their own cash. But maybe you'd like to hear me out...?

Although often situations make me hail 3 times to the person who espoused

"Nature is awesome, adventure is wholesome, Human Beings, plain troublesome"

I'm actually sentimental with human relationships as well. And striking up conversation with strangers on my trips and forging unique relationships has always been a part of me, and has always enlivened my adventures everywhere. 或许我贵人运不错？

My latest trip to Brunei alone has two such people touch my lives. One who is a resort manager,


(the guy in blue, that's my saviour!)

who went out of his way to help secure a stay for me at a rival lodge because I'm a student who couldn't afford his accommodation. This swell guy actually called two other tour operators and even concocted the story of me being an exchange student to help me secure a stay in Ulu Temburong, without which these pictures would never have been taken.

Another is a poor little ol lady who has no friends, cheated by her husband in relationship, and of money by the hubby's little vixen, and ostracized by her own family because of her subsequent depression- who was my tour guide, personal transporter and story-teller in and out of Bander Seri Bagawan.

Sabah- where the resort operator for Halleluyah hill resort gave us a whole apartment to ourselves when we paid the amount for a room, invited ruhui for hot showers in their own home, and dished out finger licking meals fro a paltry RM5, just a stone's throw away from Mount Kinabalu. Their numerous pets entertained us, as much as their owners did!

Over in Terengganu,

there's this extremely tasty yummy juice drink that's almost 100% real, thick, fruit puree sold in a little shop for RM3.00, and I would return to the stall like a homing pigeon everyday after cycling through KT.





I chatted with the lady during my 1st visit, on my second visit, she offered us free keropok lekor,


and on my 3rd visit, we enjoyed a coconut mango, straight from her garden!... It's a stall I vow to return to if and when I go there..

then there's also this gentleman who runs a bubble milk tea stall opposite Ping Anchorage, where I was staying...

had a short chat with him... then on my second visit, he invited me to play badminton with his pals, and even prepared badminton shoes in addition to the racquets for me because he knew I wouldn't be well prepared.




So on the last day before I left terengganu, I had a great game with uncles and aunties in terengganu, haha...

That,

Friend, and friends of said friend while in UK, Cheery lil lady Yumi while in Hong Kong, ... another lady who gave me a discount because I didn't have enough cash with me, no questions asked while in terengganu; marvelous people who I would not have met or talked to were I having me head down looking at a GPS instead of asking for directions, or playing a Java Game instead of striking up a conversation with a fellow bus passenger. Therefore, I'm a placard carrying dude who lifts the sign: a handphone, should be a handphone, and nothing more.

Speaking about losing our natural instincts, strip the handphone of a teen anywhere- and he'd rather part with his wallet no matter the amount or cost- and you'd find him dumbfounded,disorientated and lost in the city. this is not conjecture. This came from an Interview I made with one. And Experienced with many, my relatives included.

why are we revolving our lives around gadgets and tools when they should be just an aid, a hammer we occasionally use, a lightbulb we change now and then.

By the way, how many 21st Gen Y adults do you need to change a lightbulb? 5;

one to call up a electrical engineer friend to complain,

one to tweet :"OMG! D wurld 's ending, 'm blind, 'm freakin scared X("

one to blog about his blackout experience in an overdramatic fashion,

one to surf wikipedia to find out,

and one to turn to DIY-for-dummies to learn how to unfold a collapsible ladder)

Har har..says you. now, which 3 parts should you suspect is bust when the flourescent light blows out?

Gee... My post looks pretty protracted by now... but, this is a topic that I will certainly return to, no doubt about it...

I'd end the post with this video on sustainable consumerism, enjoy :-) It starts slow, but it will certainly not ring hollow.

The price of consumerism- on the planet, on other people, on ourselves,

Notice what are:

Externalizing costs

Planned and perceived obsolescence
The purpose of an ad, is to make you unhappy with what you have.

By buying the newest gadget that money can buy, are you falling into the trap?

ps.- the answer, the flourescent tubing, the starter, and the choke.