I? need? help?

I dunno whats missing!

I have the ability to befriend ... but no longer have the ability to maintain close frienships... and its not because of a lack of effort...

I dunno how to make things better... Some switch went "click" sometime ago and things aren't flippable back again...

Am I too serious? I don't know... I don't think I am but is it the practical years taking a toll?

hai what do I do?

personality wise? I dunno le? I used to be loner before... I don't have a gang.. ex housemates seem to be the gang I have.... but now with ruru in tow ppl probably see me as a pair? I really don't know? I.... Just don't know whats wrong...

being in the wards... I sometimes wander alone... it kinda feels weird... I am friends with everyone of course but then there's no strong connection there... No one to go to lunch with... coz ppl assume I'll have it with ruru? I'm not sure... bit lately this problem has been bothering me......

is it something I did?
something written on my forehead that I am not aware of?
that I somehow delineate myself from the others?

With hometown friends... Usually having topics to chat... Its now come to "how are you"... I am always the one to initiate drinks/ tea/ gatherings... however I am not invited... is it because my holidays always do not coincide with my other friends?

I feel so funny.... Its been bothering me quite some time la... and I dunno what to do with it...

if you have answer... let me know... I need to know whether its me and if its something that I can change... and I will change if i am the cause of the problem.

have a nice day!