Ah my first drawing in a long time

Lee Chong Wei Vs. Sony Dwi Kuncoro 21-9, 21-10!!! WWOOOOOO!!!

HEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!!
Chong Wei Advances in his bid to win Gold For Malaysia!
The sole athlete to keep the Malaysian flag flying in badminton did not let us down in his spectacular match against Sony Dwi Kuncoro!

Impressive Jumping Smashes and drop shots were the order of the day as Chong Wei emerges to lead both matches after tallying scores with Sony at the start of both matches. Sony couldn't do much but give sheepish grins after Chong Wei managed to get the better of him shuttle after shuttle!

I'm so proud of him! and gleefully enjoyed the match!

Go Chong Wei Go! Go Chong Wei GO!!!!

I? need? help?

I dunno whats missing!

I have the ability to befriend ... but no longer have the ability to maintain close frienships... and its not because of a lack of effort...

I dunno how to make things better... Some switch went "click" sometime ago and things aren't flippable back again...

Am I too serious? I don't know... I don't think I am but is it the practical years taking a toll?

hai what do I do?

personality wise? I dunno le? I used to be loner before... I don't have a gang.. ex housemates seem to be the gang I have.... but now with ruru in tow ppl probably see me as a pair? I really don't know? I.... Just don't know whats wrong...

being in the wards... I sometimes wander alone... it kinda feels weird... I am friends with everyone of course but then there's no strong connection there... No one to go to lunch with... coz ppl assume I'll have it with ruru? I'm not sure... bit lately this problem has been bothering me......

is it something I did?
something written on my forehead that I am not aware of?
that I somehow delineate myself from the others?

With hometown friends... Usually having topics to chat... Its now come to "how are you"... I am always the one to initiate drinks/ tea/ gatherings... however I am not invited... is it because my holidays always do not coincide with my other friends?

I feel so funny.... Its been bothering me quite some time la... and I dunno what to do with it...

if you have answer... let me know... I need to know whether its me and if its something that I can change... and I will change if i am the cause of the problem.

have a nice day!

Bikemania

This be my new bikey! Actually its my first bike as the rest Were hand me downs... So I'm pretty proud of it...although pretty sad looking at my wallet Hemoptysis... hehe

{--Click on the images to see the full size view--}



- Alloy body - 21speed - Front suspension - unique body design- unique welding -



Bike = (price lost in haggling)..

Miscellaneous (unhaggled price )
Lock 1 = RM 26

Lock 2 = RM 24

Basket and rear tray = RM 40
Bell = RM 5

Pillion rider Stand = RM 7


Grand total = RM 553!

Post-mortem....

Going through one of the most stressful and tiring phases of my life...
I know those who are close have noticed that I have changed... This time for the worse.

Well, I'm the sort who used to take everything in my stride, hardly being affected by situations and conditions where I can remain happy go lucky no matter what...

Then I realised that I may be bottling up a lot of unexpressed feelings all this while...so much so that when I reach the boiling point I pop the cap off sky high. I think, I actually enjoyed being angry at one point. The reason, (on hindsight) is no longer having to keep everything inside feels so refreshing. I can lash out at someone at will instead of you know...-Being taken advantage of, seething inside whilst putting on a smiling face outside-... Not having to restrain my emotions feels really good.

That is... until I realise how much it affects the people around me.
They don't say it out loud but then I can see how their image of me has changed. I know I don't need to be a crowd pleaser but then knowing that people restrain themselves around you isn't exactly enjoyable.

So... what next?
I'm not exactly sure but I know I must strike a balance between being a punchbag and a crown of thorns...
Starting with
1) Learning how to breathe
2) Relax, take a step back and think before uttering anything to prevent the foot-in-
mouth syndrome
3) Time management, stress management,
4) prioritization
5) reestablish my circle of friends...my safety net
6) Mingle with my housemates into a dough!

Cutesie!

I can't help it.. I curi from some people's friendster profile.. Too cute to resist!!!Expecially the one in the centre...ARGGGGHHHH Tolong!!!!

What are you doing? Saving the jerk who dumped me

“What are you doing?”











-“Saving the jerk who dumped me!” (Straight face included)







Yup that’s one dialogue that really caught me off guard the first time and brought lotsa chuckles to me the second time around.

Then came the –uh- “betrayal” by Mae and Tai lee that totally caught Azula off guard… and I’m pretty sure all the audiences! I mean, you always get shows where the good guy gets betrayed by his closest friends… but in Azula’s case I never saw that coming.

“I never expected this from you. The only thing I don’t understand is why? Why would you do it?”






“I guess you just don’t know people as well as you think you do. You miscalculated. I love Zuko... more than I fear you!”






And the holy cow grazes!

Wahahaha……

Well that’s the most up to date episode of Avatar: The legend of Aang- Book 3 Fire: Chapter 15-the boiling rock part 2. And I really can’t wait for the next episode due this Thursday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah… and if you don’t get the hint- I love AVATAR!
Its simply one of the best shows around, and the quality is maintained throughout all three seasons! I’ve pretty much shied away from 21st century cartoons- Anime, the justice league, spiderman,TMNT and *shy* pingu notwithstanding- but Avatar is on a league of its own.

Oh well, I can sing praises the whole day but that isn’t the point of this blog.

The point of this blog is.

I owe an apology to everyone –

1)Mao mao coz I neglected you since March I think? Not really neglect lah but I wasn’t exactly message-happy like I used to be. Part of it because I have a new distraction, part of it because of the exams in March, part of it because of the O&G posting but I’m guilty all the same…

2) Lao ru coz I sorta tuned out of life midway through O&G and only recently do I finally start to get the frequency right. I was super irritable and out of sync and moody and depressed and in the whatchamacallit-“me against the world” syndrome. You tried a lot to cheer me up and I’m most of your efforts were in vain. But now I’m back again and I promise to be a better “liver” this time around. I’ll try me best. I’ll act on your complaints ASAP k? Sayang…

3) All my O&G posting mates especially my teammates- Mas Edi, Aisyah and Jia ying- I’m sorry I screwed up at the start of the posting because I didn’t know what was expected of me. I’m sorry I didn’t get the most up to date info (sometimes I just don’t know it exists!!!1) and caused you all to lose out on the Drug formulary. I’m sorry for my sullen look and half-hearted replies, my impatience, my some-might-say-haughty replies and my exasperation at times.
Give me a chance to explain myself?

- The lecturers don’t inform me of anything that crops up. I try my best to confirm with them beforehand but they just snap their fingers at the very last minute and hey presto everythings cancelled. Information transfer leaves a lot to be desired because they never attempt to reach me. And when information does reach me it stagnates at the ketua ward or ketua kumpulan level. I dunno how to remedy this part. I try to write it on the board directly so that it circumvents the information tiers but then it isn’t exactly accessible… woe is me.

- As you all know I “kena” all the time. That plus the fact that I miss out everytime on ward rounds, OT, clinics etc because I need to set up the hall and tidy up afterwards, and not being appreciated makes me feel so downright clownish.

- As some of you know I “kena” secara tiba-tiba tanpa syak wasangka atau usul-periksa dan lain lain peribahasa…case in point…

I sent a msg telling Doctor I at the start of the posting we under her supervision would like to meet her. I didn’t call because she was busy with the Repeat Final Years O&G examination for a whole three days…. So when I managed to see her I asked her when as she didn’t reply all through the 3rd day…

“doctor doctor!...
:Who messaged me that day?
“Me me! (hoping to earn brownie points for enthusiasm, I think)
:YOU THINK I AM YOUR FRIEND AH? WHY YOU MESSAGED ME?

And somehow rather I managed to get into her bad books and stayed there throughout the posting… and I don’t know how to remedy things… oh well at least its over..

And of students snatching new cases in the clinic and Those who don’t abide to the on-call roster I did inform the students in question at least once but after that I can’t really do much. We’re adults and I don’t see the point of me playing the role of mother hen… Sorry if you all expected me to do something further… I don’t know what I can do.

All of this plus many other incidents in the labour room, made me edgy and agitated and I will retaliate at the slightest provocation.(JK you felt the brunt of it and I guess I owe you no apologies as you should understand by know speaking without consulting Wernicke will piss people off. Your girl friends have accepted the way that you are and raise no complaints but I’m sorry the rest of us aren’t so accommodating.) Inane requests that used to be attended to were turned down outright… as I have no residual energies left to respond..

At the end of the day if you feel my explanations don’t cut it, I can only Apologise once again for things that I do/ things I didn’t do and hope Surgery will be more forgiving for us all.

Thank you for your cooperation and attention and support (if there’s any left…)

And happy holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4)To anyone whom I've neglected or let down or anything at all... I'm sorry
And to you you and you who complains that my blog should be what I write and not what I baca elsewhere and then tampal here and there I hope to say that I just wanna share and I just don't have the time (or when I do have the time, the energy) to write.. but I'll try to be more proactive..

5)To my fishies... I'm back to see you and clean your house so don't despair!!! :-)



HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!

p/s-Wei kiat's ultimate cute pic

Surviving Med School

Written by Jeff Wonoprabowo --

Throughout the year, one question loomed over me, haunting me like a bad dream: "Do I really want to go through all of this to become a doctor?" It's a question I think is harder to answer now than when I was in college, especially now that I’ve started to see what I am getting myself into.

One day while I was in high school, I was sitting on the couch in front of the television. I’m not sure what I was watching. I do remember my mom calling me away from the tv set. She called me into the living room because she wanted to talk. I found it rather odd; it seemed totally out of the blue. But, I suppose, this shouldn’t have come as a surprise. Conversations with mom sometimes seem, at least to me, to come right out of left field. That evening my mom defied the stereotype that all Asian parents want their children to become a doctor or a lawyer. She sat me down to tell me she didn’t want me to become a doctor. That conversation was in high school.

The thing is, I was never the child who grew up with dreams of becoming a doctor. When my mom found out she was pregnant, she decided that in order to stay at home with me she would have to start her own business. She started a data entry business. As a result, I grew up around computers and decided that one day I wanted a career that involved computers.

But here I am, now a medical student. Although I have only completed the first year, I’m on my way towards earning the right to add the initials M.D. behind my name. Not that I need any more letters; my last name is long enough.

It’s scary, though. I have put myself on a path towards becoming a physician -– a path that is long and quite expensive. Should I continue down this path, I know I will find myself in a very rewarding career with enough money to keep a roof over my head and food on the table.

It's a frustrating journey. There's a ton of information that is force-fed during the pre-clinical years. At times it's a challenge to see how some of it is even relevant to patient care. More than once during my first year, I wondered if I really want to do this. It was almost a monthly cycle; it coincided with exams that came about every five weeks. I hated exam weeks. Actually, I still do. But those were the times when I wondered, considered, and longed for being somewhere else. I enviously think about friends who have finished school and are earning a good paycheck. Then I take a look at the numbers on the statements I receive from my lender. It is always a little shocking to see how quickly those numbers grow. Sadly, the balance of my checking account has the opposite trend.

Yet there are times where I am truly grateful for the chance to be where I am. And there are many more times where I am excited about the possibilities of where I’m headed. Because medicine -– being invited into the depths of patients’ lives –- is exciting. I wouldn’t blog about medical school if I thought it was boring, depressing, and monotonous. On second thought, I probably would. But if you're reading this site, you probably wouldn't be my target audience.

Sure, it can be hard and time-consuming. Obviously it can be very frustrating. But after having spent six weeks in the wards with attendings, residents, and medical students (2 at the beginning of the school year and 4 after), I think I have found a source of inspiration and motivation. It's not about the prestige; I don't think all the training is worth what prestige is left in the profession. It's not about the money; there are easier and shorter paths to earning a decent living. It’s not about being your own boss; the current medical system has made that terribly difficult. It's all about the patients.

And now I think I've found the answer to that looming question. I just hope my answer doesn't get lost in the deluge that will come in the form of my second year...

Notable Replies :

As a person who initially wanted to be a doctor (and went through all the pre-requisites, the MCAT, etc.) and who then decided instead to become a nurse, I have to say that in my practice, neither medicine nor nursing has much to do with the patients and has everything to do with insurance companies and attempting to manage patient care with inadequate and dwindling resources. I work in the ER and when we admit patients to the hospital and I speak to admitting doctors (who often don't even know the patient and are chosen to take care of them based on which insurance the patient has), it turns my stomach to think of being the MD on the other end of the phone having to come up with a plan of care for a complete stranger that he or she may or may not meet for another 24 hours depending on their schedules. It's sick and it's scary from a professional liability standpoint. Dealing with our aging population and their 10 chronic illnesses day in and day out is not fun, it's not mentally stimulating and it's not glamorous- it's work. The bottom line is that once you get through your learning curve, work is still just work as it would be in any other job. I had to ask myself how much I was willing to sacrifice in my personal life for something that ultimately would end up still being just a job at some point. Life is very short and at the end of your days, where do you want your memories to come from and where do you want your life to have been spent?

reply2
I hate to be the cynic, but is it about the patients? As you can see from the replies, the more time someone spends in health care the less it becomes about the patient. I keep thinking it is going to get better. It certainly isn't about patients in med school. In the first ridiculously painful year there was always second year to look forward to when I got to barely talk to a patient. Then there was third year when I got to touch a patient, however pointlessly in the learning like a leech phase. Finally, I'm a fourth year where my contribution is actually minimal and if I wasn't here then someone else would do it more efficiently and probably better. These thoughts don't go away once you "hit the wards" as some have suggested. Yet, I will keep hoping that eventually this medicine stuff actually allows me to be in service of people. But yes, I'm doing this blindly and with the faith that it will someday matter. I may never enjoy medicine (memorize stuff you don't care about and apply occasionally...it actually isn't challenging...who knew!), but the hope is that it will someday matter.

reply3
I've been waiting for this article for a very long time. Since my first year in med school 6 years ago actually :). In the Caribbean we have 5 years of Med school then we graduate as medical doctors with the MBBS (bachelor of medicine and bachelor of surgery). We have one year of internship afterwhich we go from provisional registration to fully registered medical doctors, unleashed to the public ;)

I just completed my internship year and have been recently unleashed :) Our days/months/years in med school are quite a lot different to those in the US and other 1st world countries. We have patient interaction and contact from as early as our 2nd semester in 1st year on the wards!! i remember in my 3rd year, i was very competent in basic procedures as iv cannunlation, incision and drainage of abscesses and removal of chest tubes. in 4th year my colleague and i, (under direct supervision) applied our first skull traction on our orthopaedic rotation....applying the Steimann pin was petty stuff for us then.
So, basically we had a lot of hands on experience and really got our hands dirty throughout our training. Having completed my first year as a Doctor and applied all that i learned as a student, repairing episiotomies, delivering countless babies and actually doing an above knee amputation (having scrubbed in countless times as the assistant), it became quite clear to me why doctors either make or break in their profession.

"there are some things in this life that money just cannot buy!!!"

...and the satisfaction, pride and overwhelming joy that the privelege of assisting another human being where they cannot assist themselves is most definitely one of them. Too many doctors focus on the money! hands down!!

Dont get me wrong, there were countless days and nights i'd cry because of stress....i was broke with, sleepless nights, lack of food, disappointing results after my greatest efforts, crticism, condemnation and harsh words from my seniors and most of my high school friends were buying their first cars or home and living "the life"....the list goes on. I now realise that this journey cannot ever be compensated in financial rewards/returns and that i must seek that elswhere. Hence, i started my own business and now have money coming in to me whether i'm there or not, whether i'm sleeping or awake and i have this peace of mind now when i go to "work" and have to deal with all the stress and the "heirarchy". Now, the moment when i truly opened my eyes was when i decided to volunteer my medical skills at a free health clinic in a rural community where access to health care and availabilty of doctors and medical services is dismal. But it was "that feeling" when the patients left all smiles because they got free advice, counseling, medications, ultrasounds, eye tests, you name it...it was that feeling that gave me inner peace and removed all doubt and panic that i'd chosen the wrong path. the money will come (esp if you diversify your income) but peace of mind must be earned and you will cherish it forever.

Thank you for your article and everyone's comments. No one or way is right or wrong yet each comment has so much emotion attached....why are some negative and others positive? because we all live the struggles day in and day out but some choose to face them and find ways to overcome whilst others choose to run for fear that they've made the worst mistake of their lives......what do you choose??

For me. The answer still isn't clear. I never wanted to be here and the stress is killing my relationships... is it worth it? I don't think so.
But what the hell. No turning back so I'll do what I can.