Happiness

It’s a roller coaster ride all the way these days... But all in all happy lah. Haha

I don’t know a lot of things...but then certain degrees of ignorance is bliss..ain’t it so always? :-D

I might lose sight of dear ol butterfly someday, I’m not sure If I’ll be prepared for that..psyching myself all the time now in preparation of that moment. But then I rest easy knowing she’ll be floating around in the air happy. Though I lose sight, but she’ll always be around. That I know. Maybe that should be good enough for me.

I’m almost 21 now lo. Gotta be insightful in everything and not bumble along anymore.

Aha.. stupid thoughts creeping in again. Will she mind me being younger? K la digress ni. :P Wait, wait..got consolation...My haggard looking face projects a much older age than reality, matching my mentality hor? :-P I know I know I’m childish, but that’s personality too. I can be Zen-like but what fun is there interacting with a piece of wood right? Like watching iron rust. :-P

So who am I looking for now?

Hmmm, someone who is charming, down to earth, grounded in reality but not afraid to dream. Someone who understands that I function independently most of the time, prefer life unfettered by constraints, free to roam and discover and to live this life the way It’s meant to be. Someone who also understands the other side of me, the little boy who likes to be pampered and cared for, having someone looking over my shoulder and shower hugs when I need them so.

Yet I’m eccentric and atypical as can be. Most would find me hard to comprehend and give up trying to do so when they bump into the wall I built around myself ever so often. Hopefully someone would be persistent enough to stay and find out.

Truthfully, my upbringing was as mundane as can be. Till now I can’t pinpoint what moulded me into who I am today. If you try to frame my mental picture, I’m assured the result would be a multiple-pseudopodia-ed amoeboa struggling upstream then downstream then suddenly hibernating in a cosy loft far far away. I’m chemotaxic, phototaxic, zoo-taxic, recently ‘entomo-taxic’ heh heh heh.

Don’t blame yourself if you don’t understand me. I don’t either. Most of the time I manage to keep myself sane tho... hehe. But really, I don’t know where my mixture of creative, artistic genes met its logic, scientific partner.

I have plenty of dreams...dreams I never mentioned to anyone. Whatever that was being mentioned in this blog before, that’s the tip of the iceberg. I’m so disappointed the one near to me for two years never even knew or tried to find out about them. Haha. What a waste. I’m slowly paving my way to them. Branching out my reach like twigs, I don’t know which I will be able to accomplish but I’m sure I’m gonna try my best to live them out!!!!

Back to who I’m looking for... Hmmm, I don’t have a set criteria really, even though I try hard to think of one, but then i’ll know when i know right? But then...ideally... one that can go into the kitchen and out into the hall(chinese)..cos I’ll be in the kitchen too! Then ideally...ideally lah... funny, cheerful, energizer bunny, caring,thoughtful, placing me first (cos if she places herself first then that there’ll be two of us caring for the same person),observant, mature, stable, thrifty,elegant,adventurous, tahan lasak, simple, easy-going, not ma-fan,a thinker, a reader,a listener,a gamer,...... wah....I’m very greedy leh... rupanya I quite picky one oh. Keke.

Hmmmm...Je ne sais quoi. That’s most important. :-D the x-factor.

Observation period. Hmmm. Maybe that’ll be my screening process. Another way to put it...time will tell hoh?